First Class

Yes this is an actual picture of the beds featured in some of the twelve suites, yes SUITES, that are aboard the new "Airbus A380" from Singapore Airlines. (Go Figure). They include, "Fully close able doors, an armchair almost three feet wide, and a separate chaise lounge/visitor seat." Round-trip from Singapore to Sydney starting cost of $7,343. Nice.

There's also the "Boeing 777-300ER" which features "Your own personal Champagne cooler for vintage fizz", Indian rosewood doors to each first-class sleeper suite, a 23" flat screen TV with over 500 on demand channels and the largest bed in the sky that measures almost 7 feet long! What's the cost you ask? Newark to Mumbai from $10,080 round-trip (with a stopover in Brussels) ..oh what a steal.. blah!

Then there's the "Boeing 747 and, next year, Airbus A380". Most of it's luxury crap is featured in the lounge BEFORE you get on the jet. Of course, just for the "UPPER-CLASS" only! They get a "A leather-floored library, old-fashioned click-clack departure boards, and marble-lined shower suites with individual stereo systems. Oh, then there's the Payot Paris day spa: Everything, from a 30-minute energizing facial to a 50-minute all-over massage, is free. Every FIRST -CLASS passenger is personally greeted curbside, checked in, and escorted upstairs by one of the two dozen newly installed concierges." On board you get "Lambswool blankets and bathrooms stocked with La Prairie lotions." Yayyyyy! And then in 2008 when the "Airbus A380" is available "FIRST-CLASS passengers will snuggle under sheepskin covers in L-shaped suites." Price you ask? Oh only $24,733 round trip from New York to Sydney.

The best part about all of this, is where I read the following: "And services that whisk you through security and customs in a fraction of the usual time." Umm, does anyone else see this as a potential replay for Sept. 11?

Like upper-class garbage really needs an ego boost! Go ahead and eat your Lobster and sip on champagne while I gulp down my diet coke and cheap pretzels. Enjoy your on-demand movie while I stare out the night sky into nothingness. Either way, when the plane goes down, we all die the same way. No Cashmere blanket is gonna save you then!